This place is for surplus creativity, for when I don't have time to do some actual writing and above all for the heck of it. Contents are unedited, uncensored and un-everything else, so be warned. Your absolutely reading on at you own risk.

mandag den 22. december 2008

Financial Crisis?

"Mr. Eriksen, can we have your comment on the Financial Crisis?"
#Ehm, eh, why me, yeah, OK. Well I guess we just got the result of the liberal right-wings ever beating vote-on-us drum, called the responsible economical policy.#
"Really".
#No no, don't take it the wrong way, i mean, you gotta give them props on one thing: Eventually the marked actually did regulate itself.#
"Yeah, OK, thanks"
...
"Idiot."

To The Middle

"To the middle," the knight screamed, unsheathed his sword and dashed straight for the dragon that was eating the virgin. It shook its head, and her left toe was flung in a high arch through the air and hit right in the screaming, metal-encapsulated heroes wide open mouth, causing him to fall to the ground and suffer a horrible axfictiative death, when the very long and untended toenail got utterly stuck in the very tender center of his breathing apparatus.

Pedicure is not to be taken lightly.

RPG continued

"Boss, boss. Listen"
#Aw, Jesus, haven't you heard of knocking? Can't you see I'm shooting up here?#
"Boss. You've gotta get word over to the Hawks. Were going into the Volgite."
#Shit, why#
"All over the news boss, some big explosion did structural damage, threatening to collapse the whole damn thing, from X10 level and up."
#Who cares, X10 and up is shithole city, deathworld to be#
"Apparently the frozen rich freaks in the lower habitat cares. Something about them don't wanting the whole damn thing to come crashing down upon them. Anyways. It comes straight from the Gov'ner. We have to assess the damage and lead a big fucking crew to do repairs."
#Shit#
"We're gonna need a whole lotta protection down there, and they say we can use the Hawks. Can you ask for Sweenie and the other guy. What's his name, ... Buckham."
#Ow god, Jesus, they will just shoot up the place even more, their nuts, you know that#
"Oh yea, I know. I was thinking, we could get some aaaaactiooooon. Some mutant brainspatter, hehe"
#You're a sick man, Jesus. A sick man. One thing I will never figure out is why on Fenksworld, your momma ever called you Jesus.#
"Heh. Was the only way she could keep from my dad that she was screwing every Bom, Slick and Perry this side of the Callisto galaxy."
#Yeah,... em right. Anyways give me the rundown#
"Bomb, big one. Might even have been a tac nuke. Blew up in some bar near X10 level. We've got surveillance. Here. Check it out."
#Place is almost empty. Just some old guy in a wheelchair and the bartender.#
"But look at the time. Was right around a pit fight, so everyone had gone. OK, check this out. Look at the guys wheelchair."
#Holy shit#
"Yep it's all just bright light and then static after the camera got blown away."
#No I mean it looked like it came from the damn wheelchair.#
"It did, Boss. The old guy was sitting right on top of it."
#Terrorist?#
"Dunno."
#OK, rig up. I'll call the damn Hawks. This one is political. I can smell it. Something big is on the way.#
"You know, Boss, that blast"
#Don't say it, Jesus#
"That blast would have sent the old guys wheelchair."
#I warn you, you little maggot.#
"So far up his ass."

Sci Fi RPG Character description

"No."
...
"Because you wouldn't beleive me, if I told you."
...
"Listen, you'd be much better of going to the Cess pits. There's a fight starting in a couple of minutes."
...
"Go on stranger, leave an old cripple to his misery."
...
"OK, if your buying, ill take another."
...
"All right then - All right. I'll tell you, but I warn you, I'll have no laughing."
...
"The kids' from Fenksworld; grew up right here in Volgite."
...
"You want spill this tragedy or not? We'll get to how I know."
*Sigh*
"Deep down in this hellish shithole, there's a forbidden place, and its literally marked so."
...
"Yes, I know there's no real control over this hive, but forbidden that place is nonetheless."
"Once you pass that yellow cross, and go into The Cold, your on your own."
...
"Its a long corridor that leads deep into the ground."
"And where that corridor stops, many more follow."
"Theres stairs going up and down, turns and twists, one looking just like the other, till your head spins."
"Try, stranger, to venture down there for whatever reason... Once your lost, you'll suddenly notice a blurred shadow in the corner of your eye, and you'll meet a death so swift and silent that the locals, ..."
"That the ones overwhelmed with despair have begun to go down there."
"Gonna go make out with the devil, they call it. Or the Volgi blues."
...
"Whats down there?" *sad grin* "Nothing less than a cult of noble assassins."
...
"I told you not to laugh! Its true - you know what, fuck you. Here take your drink, I'm going."
...
"Don't tell me to calm myself, I'll..."
...
"OK, OK, I'll stay, just put that away, no need for violence."
...
"They are allowed to stay, because they pay their taxes. Place 'em somewhere secret, where the Gov'ners people pick them up. That's why noone bothers them. That, and their nobility."
...
"Don't know, but its no more than 300 years ago, that the place was founded, the Cohorte, its called."
"Was done by a young assassin who somehow won his freedom, nobility and a place to call his own."
...
"Noone knows how. Or his name for that matter. None of the nobles down there have names. There are no records and especially no names kept in the Cohorte."
...
"Heh, yeah well. They keep a whole society down there. Mostly miners, and they even have a council and all."
...
"No their not frigging slaves. Their all frigging free. Citizens of the Cohorte, they call themselves.
...
"Yeah, I know their not real citizens, but the long arm of the emperor simply can't reach that far down into the Volgi hive.
...
Its a fucking democracy. The assassins let them run it all themselves."
...
"No. but you better believe it, cause its the frigging truth. All of it. True."
...
"Bout 50.000 heads or so. Not very big in Volgi terms, and only a 1.000 or so are assassins."
...
"Well there's only that one entrance and its long, dark and small and after that comes the maze, so numbers matter not. The assassins are more than enough to hold off any force trying to get in there. You'd need a nuke to blast them out. And they pay a great many taxes to the only one who actually has a nuke."
...
"Leave. Heh. No one leaves. Not voluntarily anyways. They've got it good down there. Freedom, peace, no threats. Why should the leave. And where should they go? Into the Volgi? Don't make me laugh."
*Sigh*
"But all that's about to change."
...
"Well. That's where the kid comes in. He's from the Cohorte."
"In fact. He was next in line."
...
"To inherit the whole enchilada. He is directly descendant from the founder, and his father died not long ago."
...
"The kid was driven from the place. By a traitor. The most vile scum, you can imagine, his cousin."
"He pulled a fast one on the kid, got him all mixed up, believing that he would be no good as the next keeper."
...
"No I don't mean ruler. Don't you get it? The nobles don't rule down there. In fact, when their not hunting some poor smuck in the maze, training or dissapearing the shadows right in front of you, they go around helping the frigging citizens of the Cohorte."
...
"By mining or taking care of an old one, or whatever. It's part of their creed. The commoners rule themselves! Ok."
...
"Yeah, I know its hard to believe. Even I sometimes think that the Cohorte was just a vague dream."
"Anyways the cousin, that filthy slime. He doesn't want to be a keeper. He wants to rule. Would like to train his brutes on the citizens, cause not many get lost in the maze no more. And he wants the power of the Cohorte to grow and take over the Volgi hive. So it's all gonna go to hell now. No more ... freedom!"
...
"I don't know what he told the kid. It was all hush-hush. But I suspect it's all got something to do with the fathers death. Which came all to soon and all to unexpected, if you ask me."
...
"The kid did it in public. Resigned his title and announced he would be leaving. Wanted to go on a pilgrimage on Terra, he said. What rubbish. I'll never forget his face. Looked like a beaten dog, he did. And the crowd. You should have heard them. It was like cold wind of disbelief swept through the caves, followed by a silent murmur. Gave me the shivers, it did."
"Afterwords he was escorted out. And not just out of the Cohorte but out of the Volgi all the way over to Mantiew hive, where they put him on an interstellar. A few of the cousins brutal beasts went with him too."
...
"Yep, you've got it. They wanted to make sure, he was well out of the way. I guess they intended to put him in hyperspace, never to return."
...
"Well I was his caretaker. How else do you think, I would know all this. Known him since birth, have I. He was my kid, my little master."
...
"He pulled a number on them, though. Heard it, when they came back. He gave them the slip on 41 Pry. Even managed to steal back is weapon. *smile* The Devils Kiss. Wonderful blade it is. Comforted me somewhat, I suppose.
"But then they caught me listening."
"Picked me up by the hair, they did, beat me silly, til my back was bent in ways it never should have. And now my legs don't work no more, so I'm stuck in this damn weelchair."
...
"Because they don't kill people from the Cohorte. There are laws down there, and no one are above them. Not even the nobles or my masters cousin, that boil infected rodent. No he didn't kill me.
...
"The Kid?. Don't know. I hope hes all right, but I am not sure. He has never been alone before, so I don't know how he will manage. Mind you. He can stand his own. A fine young assassin he is. He has just never killed without having his personal guard behind him."
*shakes head*
"No. He is alone now, a young man without a name and without his Cohorte. I hate myself for not being there with him. Hate every damn day. He wont even know how to buy food. Always was sort of lazy and all, but a good kid none the less. And perhaps its true. Perhaps he wouldn't be a good keeper of the Cohorte, but he would have been a whole sight better than that swine, that greed-infected monster."
...
"Yes, I fear for him. I'm afraid, he will be just another carcass rotting away in some remote corridor on 41 Pry, a victim of some petty crime."
"And all I can do, is sit here and hope that some day he will come back to right all this, but in my guts, I know that'll never happen. There is no hope in this warridden place. No hope for the Cohorte."
"There is no hope at the tip of the devils kiss."
...
"Enough now. Let me be. I've told you all I know. Just leave enough for another drink. I've certainly earned it. See if I can't find enough courage in this sewage water, they call beer, to go get the Volgi blues. Enough manhood to go down in The Cold and make out with the devil.
"His kiss will be a mercy, silent and swift."
"Aye, it is mercy, I need."
...
"Go on now, the Cess pits are boiling now, fights about to start. You wouldn't wanna miss it. Two men in hardened boots, banging away at eachother in an acid pit, while that poisonous mush eat their boots right of their feet in just a couple of minutes. Go on. This cripple has had his fill."
...
"GO!"